It was always difficult for me to answer why I chose this topic as my thesis project because every reason I could think of was just a small part of my overall motivation. It was not only about culture, not just about the emotion, and not about the language itself. I vaguely knew this project is about small frowns when we don’t understand each other and short silence after the miscommunication, but I couldn’t exactly articulate why I was doing this. 

But by reflecting on a specific moment back in 2019, I finally understood why. I was undergoing many changes at that time, both mentally and situationally, and was frequently asked how I felt. It was difficult for me to answer because no single word could capture my feelings, because I was feeling happy, sad, bitter, relieved, and anxious at the same time. So whenever I was asked how I felt, I would answer with 'I don’t know' or use awkward GIFs that were close to my feelings. Since I couldn’t articulate my emotions clearly, those who asked couldn't understand them either.

When I first arrived in New York, I encountered similar situations. As I was using an unfamiliar language, expressing my emotions was confusing. Terms like 'grounded,' 'frustrated,' and 'sarcastic,' which I now find familiar and fitting, did not resonate with my feelings. I felt more '서운하다 Seo-Un-Hada' than disappointed, or '답답하다 Dap-Dap-Hada' than frustrated. Whenever I attempted to explain my feelings in a Korean context, I would get lost in the explanation, or be met with puzzled reactions asking, 'What do you mean?'

Reflecting on all these experiences—being questioned about my feelings, feeling confused about them, struggling to explain them, and being misunderstood—I realized that these moments were the main motivation behind my project. This project is not only about culture, but also a personal experience of how we feel, explain, and share our feelings. It is located somewhere between “What do you mean?” and “Do you know what I mean?”, dedicated to those seeking to expand their emotional vocabulary and for those who wish to understand others’ feelings more deeply.

As this project has made me more expressive and better able to explain my feelings, I hope it can help others in the same way.